We are certain that you get envious and your heart pinches every time you find on your feed a picture of any couple celebrating their x years of being together. It makes you question whether there is something wrong with you that none of your relationships last more than a couple of months. First of all, you have to stop blaming yourself right this minute. It takes effort and dedication from both the partners to keep a relationship going. Having said that, it isn’t rare that your partner decides to break up with you all of a sudden. You didn’t see that coming. You two are out together and they just blurt out. They opt to cut all ties with you and don’t even bother telling you why they feel separating from you is just what they need. You wrack your brain for days trying to understand what could have led them to make this move.
This article answers just that. One or more of these could be the explanation for your break up. It will also help you in understanding your current or future partner better. Without further ado, let’s check out the article now.
An egoist person can never make a good partner. If you are that self-centered, how are you ever going to want to know a person, their hobbies, likes, and dislikes? You can’t fall in love with someone without learning of and remembering every detail about them. Such people only date for want of a partner to show-off to their friends or family.
You are supposed to be your partner’s pillar of strength during trying times. If you are too busy with your own life and never care to provide emotional support to your lover, they might have to seek out for it from someone else.
Love Language Hurdles
Different people follow different love languages. For some conferring gifts may be their way of showing affection while some may seek spending quality time together the appropriate way of expressing concern. There are individuals who like to pen down their feelings, then there are ones who emote their feelings through their acts and gestures. It is mandatory that you get what love languages your partner adopts.
We can bet any amount of money that everyone has problems in their lives, which they are persistently trying to battle with. When you are complaining about your life with your partner, you only add to their struggles in some way or the other. This is so because the moment they listen to an issue, their mind begins chalking out resolutions which are, most of the time, not feasible. So, it’s best that you solve them on your own.
What you may comprehend as your partner’s lack of interest in you might actually be their workload stress. During stress people do behave differently, are easily annoyed, or show an unwillingness to partake in any activity. You mustn’t overanalyze and make assumptions. Allowing them some space to deal with it would be the right move for a situation of that sort.
Your dear one may have stonewalled you due to unforeseen cropping up of troubles in their family or for any other reason, which they may not be comfortable sharing with you. Do not pester them to reply to every text of yours or lose your cool if they choose to remain quiet.
Freedom, equality, liberty, and respect, are demanded by people of today’s age. No one can tolerate being told what to do, what to wear when to go out, or when to be back home. This is your life partner, not your slave that you impose restrictions on them and think they will take it with a smile. Being single would be hands down preferred by anyone over a controlling partner. You have to either accept their way of living or leave.
By totalitarian love, we are referring to a partner who, after getting into a relationship, wants you and only you. They make it seem like they never even had a life before they found you. A lover who is too clingy and expects attention round the clock cannot be tolerated for too long. And why would anyone want to continue with such a person. Relationships don’t mean bearing one another.
If your libido doesn’t match with that of your partner’s, you may be left feeling dissatisfied or irritated. Stress, fear of poor performance, non-acceptance of your looks could be a few reasons behind your abhorrence for physical intimacy.
There are two types of intimacy – physical and emotional, both equally important to keep a relationship alive. Every person has certain needs which can be met by none other than the person they are dating. It could be just a desire for being physically intimate or a longing for someone close to talk to about how their day went. If you come home late every night being too exhausted to even eat or show no interest in talking to your partner, don’t blame them if they leave you for someone more engaging.
Carry-over of Past Trauma
There is a big difference between learning from your past mistakes and carrying-over your past experiences. It is unfortunate that many times people fail to make a distinction between the two. If your previous partner had been sleeping with your BFF behind your back or lying to you throughout, it doesn’t mean that your current one must be doing the same. Every person is different. Learn to let go of your suspicions else your love and relationship will suffer.
Your love life is sure to be impacted if you suffer from any kind of mental illness. For a relationship to stay strong, mental health is much more needed than physical fitness. Your brain has a bearing on your actions, reactions, temperament, and self-control. The biggest problem is that many people don’t even realize they have a mental health issue and require medical aid.
Different Point in Life’s Blueprint
It could happen that one partner might have become financially stable and all set to tie the knot, while the other one might still have many aspirations to achieve. This can stagnate the relationship and draw the two people apart. You both have to talk and work it out if ending up being committed to each other is what you want at the end of the day.
Bad habits of any sort are a major turn off. Hence, it’s advisable that you nib them in the bud. Your control over your mind and your partner’s addiction to you are directly related. Your substance abuse might be causing harm not just to you, but also to your surroundings and those around you. You can never grab the eyeballs of your crush by chain-smoking or collapsing after being heavily drunk.
Failing to show up on a dinner date is nothing to freak out over. But it is a bad sign if you do it more often than it can be understandable. And, if possible let them know beforehand that you might be late or might not be able to make it. You have to respect and value their time.
Fading Sexual Attraction
During the initial phase of your relationship, you put in a lot of effort to ensure that you appear attractive and irresistible to your partner. Even your conversations with them are flirtatious and fun-filled. However, as it progresses, you tend to become more relaxed and unveil your lazy, boring, and not-so-appealing side. This could lead their attention to drift to somebody else. Don’t complain later that it wasn’t in your hands.
Lack of Proper Communication
Active communication with your partner is one of the necessities for maintaining your closeness to them. You could talk about how your day went, discuss your future plans, and the like. Taking even half an hour out of your hectic day and having a light, but meaningful conversation with them over a cup of hot chocolate can do wonders for your relationship, as well as for your state of mind.
Insecurity can be endured to a certain degree, but not beyond that. If you are insecure, you unknowingly give signals to your partner that you do not have full faith in them and you fear they may dump you for someone better. If they want to leave you, they will do it anyway. However, you being insecure will plainly give them a reason why you can’t be their ideal partner.
Craving for Commitment
If your beloved one isn’t prepared for commitment, then your constant nagging will only compel them to call it quits with you. Give them time and space to get to know you and figure out if and how they want to take it further with you. Your desperateness can make them lose interest in you while your indifference will make you all the more desired.
Cheating is the reason for the crushing of most of the relationships. This is so because it is the hardest to condone. Cheating shatters a person’s trust and reliance in you and without these no relationship can survive. They gave you their heart and you broke it. You have no right to ask for forgiveness.
The problem of clashing priorities is faced by every couple out there. It has nothing to do with how crazy they are for each other or what phase of relationship they are in. Did you not see your parents fighting? It’s all right and totally normal. Your partner might be putting you first, but you might accord your career the highest priority. This is nothing to argue over. A tad bit of maturity is all that’s needed to tackle such issue.
Trust is the building block for any relationship. You can’t expect your partner to be calm and easy-going if you are constantly keeping a watch on every activity of theirs or wanting to check their phone every other day. If you know they love you then trust them with all your heart and mind. Even if you are certain of being two-timed, accost them and ask directly instead of becoming a part-time detective.
Your religion and cultural background do have an influence on your personality and the way you look at and approach situations. If you and your partner follow different religions, your beliefs are bound to be distinct and, at times, could be contradictory leading to heated arguments. This shouldn’t be a major problem if you both make genuine attempts to understand the other one and be ready to compromise.
You must be wondering what this vulnerability stalemate is. It occurs when neither of you want to be the first one to apologize or to admit that you are hurt by your partner’s act. You do it out of fear of coming across as vulnerable or emotionally weak. Couples also expect from each other that their partner should be able to read their minds and act accordingly. This just complicates things, making them difficult to sort out. Expressing your needs and desires and being open can relieve both of you of all the stress and unwanted drama.
Abuse of any kind and to any extent must not be tolerated at any cost. If your relationship ended because of your partner being verbally or physically abusive, you should thank your stars and be happy you are no longer with that person. You are supposed to be at peace with your lover and not scared or traumatized. And, if you were the one inflicting abuse on your ex, you seriously need to change if you don’t want to die single.
It must be clear to you by now why your ex ended it with you. However, this doesn’t mean you should start regretting your decisions. You cannot go back in time and change anything. Just keep these in mind next time you fall in love with someone.